User Profile

I spend a lot of time thinking about writing, editing things I’ve already written, rarely writing new things, submitting stories to small-press publishers and getting on average two publications per year. Sometimes I blog an awful lot, while saying very little.

I eat Jaffa Cakes by nibbling the edges off, then peeling the jaffa away, eating the base, then savouring the jaffa. If I accidently tear the jaffa in this process I feel a sense of failure in life. Sleeping is both my friend and my enemy. I can feel pain in dreams, which isn’t fun if you dream that someone has just speared you in the chest.

My guitar playing leaves something to be desired, as I’m far too lazy to ever practice. I don’t read as much as I should. I’m a slow reader. It took me one year to finish reading the ‘Gormenghast’ trilogy. Patrick Wolf’s voice makes me happy. Nine Inch Nails makes me feel both empowered and tragic.

I like my tea strong and my coffee with half a spoonful of sugar. Gigs are only worth going to if I love the music so much it makes me die a little with joy. I was born with a hole in my heart, and when it closed up my Mum cried. Doctors tell me if I get a tattoo I might die.

I have an illogical desire to visit Venice. If I were rich I’d spend most of my money in Camden Market. Watching or reading The News makes me depressed and feel physically sick at how awful humanity is. QI will save the day. I have no faith in doctors. I’m probably going to get hit by a car, murdered, or die of cancer one day.

I really like cats, but not ones that scratch. I have the desire to get my lip pierced but I think it would get in the way. I like stripy socks.

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